Imagine this. It’s a beautiful morning and you have your good old cup of Joe to start the day on an amazing start. Work went well, school was great; there’s absolutely nothing that could ruin your day. You are planning to meet with your significant other as usual but when you get there, you are hit with a breakup. All of a sudden, you are hit with an emotional rollercoaster. Days go by; even weeks and the very thought of this person breaks your heart and has you in a rut. What is there to do? Luckily, I have good news… IT ISN’T THE END OF THE WORLD EVEN IF IT FEELS LIKE IT! Some people can get over a break up super easily, while others spend even months suffering and letting the pain linger. Here are some tips on letting that person go; and allowing yourself to grow!
1. LET IT ALL OUT
Cry, cry again and then cry some more. Scream and let any frustration out. Everyone deals with pain differently but making sure to let out ALL that negativity; will allow space for more positivity to make room into your mind.
2. BABY STEPS
Whether the relationship ended on good terms or bad terms; allow yourself to erase the things that remind you of what once was. For example, if you have their clothes or belongings lying around; return them back or remove them from your habitat. All the cute photos or texts that are just lingering and taking space on your phone; It’s time to erase them. The truth of the matter is looking back at those photos may result in the reminder of a once good memory, but at the end of the day, it’ll only remind you that the relationship no longer exists.
3. STOP OBSESSING OVER IT
I’m going to keep it real with our TUC readers; I have obsessed over a breakup. I found myself lurking and seeing what the other person was up to. My phone always found it’s way back to their Instagram or Twitter and I constantly found myself worried about who they were hanging out with or what they were up to. Again, this is just a reminder that the relationship no longer exists; and the mental damage that lurking and digging for dirt will do IS NOT WORTH IT. You deserve the peace of mind; so try to catch yourself anytime you feel the urge to look them up.
4. HEALTHY DISTRACTIONS
Allow yourself time to breathe and focus your energy towards something else. Whether that means a social media break or taking a mini road trip; Allow your mind to focus on things that make you happy. Surround yourself with people who keep a positive energy and practice activities that lift your mood.
EXAMPLES: Exercising, Dancing, Karaoke, Painting, Swimming, Writing, Etc.
5. YOU WILL FIND HAPPINESS AGAIN
Take it from me. I have gone through some breakups that felt like I would never breathe again or be happy. And guess what?? I eventually moved on, gave myself time to think and work on myself and then tested the waters with other people again. Your heart will heal. Don’t rush into another relationship right after; allow yourself time to grow and learn about yourself. Those moments of solitude will then teach you what you want and don’t want in a relationship and you’ll learn to not settle when it comes to your next relationship. You are valuable, you are awesome, You deserve happiness and believe me; when the time comes, you will look back and laugh about crying over some relationship. This failed relationship was preparing you for an even bigger plan; so be patient and keep growing.
Now I know it sounds easier said than done. The truth is you will heal. Whether it takes days, months or even years; eventually that giant pain in your chest won’t even exist anymore. Focus that unhappy energy towards your passions, career, and goals and believe me; the growth and self-love that you develop will be all so worth it. No experience like a break up deserves all of your energy; so don’t waste it on it. After you cry; get up, look in the mirror and remind yourself who you are! And let nature take its course. When the next potential relationship comes your way; take it with ease and use all the things you learned from your last relationship to build an even stronger one this time.
YOU GOT THIS!