The dating process has various stages of getting to know someone but it becomes a point in time when feelings are involved and trust is established between the two. Dating is a time to find out more about your own preferences and what you’ll tolerate and allow. This is the most fun you’ll have while not being attached to anyone, but with play comes consequences. While you are getting to know the other person you may set unrealistic expectations that were not clarified in the beginning or, you may make the mistake that most do, you try to change it. And for someone who is not ready, the responses they give you will be words carted to your emotions.
This upgraded booty call is a non-exclusive romantic arrangement that may or may not turn into a committed relationship.
Friend: You and Matt still talking?
Me: Yea, we’ve been talking for 8 months now
Friend: Are you guys together? Officially?
Me: No, we’re together but not together.
This ladies and gentlemen is a Situationship, with there being over 8 billion people on this earth people are having their time wasted by one person who is not ready. The game is dragging someone over a prolonged period of time, the master manipulation, who YOU are not emotionally ready for. But on the other hand in situationships, it is delivered that they DO NOT want a relationship but some choose to stick around in hopes of it changing but the changes are slim.
Talking stage? What’s there to talk about?
The talking stage is meant to help you explore and meet people. But let’s take a moment, to be honest, men know immediately what the want if they’ll pursue you like the hunters they are or play you by seeing what you allow. Men naturally put in work for the women they want and if he wants you nothing will stop him from pursuing you. Women know if they’ll give someone a chance when they met, and make their intentions known. Women are natural nurturers and healers, so their chances of being involved in a situationship are sometimes higher than men.
Words Vs. Actions
This is the key ingredient in the situation, the reason why you feel played and mistreated. Actions prove who someone is; words just prove who they pretend to be.
If you ask them if you guys are together that is a yes or no answer, anything in between is them playing you. Them telling you what you want to hear instead of what you need to hear will secure your spot as a placeholder in their life.
A placeholder is a person that is always available when they call you over, never busy, always there but is not the significant other. A placeholder is someone that holds the place for the person they really wanna be with. This is a permanent companionship that will never turn into a commitment. The placeholder does the boyfriend/girlfriend duties without a title, and this gives them nothing to look forward to, then guess what, when they find the person worth their time, attention, and love they drop you effortlessly or ghost you.
How do you guys communicate? Is it only through text? If yes that’s a definite red flag. There is no effort or emotions through a text, no direct attention which can be shared with anyone. Think about it this way, if her only form of communicating with you is through a text consistently then you are not the only one. Yes, some people get busy but there always near their phone. If he only texts you late at night, you are not the only one. Texting mask the emotional interest, the true efforts are hearing the reactions over the phone, or physically seeing the emotions on facetime. If they aren’t frequently calling or face timing you consistently you may be in a situationship of no true emotional investment.
What are we?
If you are scared to ask the person you are, physically involved with what you are, you are in a situationship. When you do bring it to their attention, and they dismiss or avoid the question, they’re not that into you. ABORT MISSION. Especially if you do not have mental stability you are an easy target to be a placeholder. Love yourself and get to know yourself before putting yourself out there.
If you get the answer, we are growing with each other, run. You two aren’t growing, it’s called getting your time wasted. Like I stated earlier if a man wants you he’ll do any and everything to show you he wants you: wants you to be his girlfriend? He’ll work hard to show you and will ask. She wants you to be her boyfriend: unlimited attention, consistency, effort.
In this generation there are signals to tell if you are in a situationship:
Never met the friends or family
If someone asks you what you guys are you are dumbfounded
Excuses made for them
Constantly ghost you
You are their secret
How to get over a situationship:
Step 1: Get real with yourself
If they wanted too they would have.
Step 2: Deny access to your time
Slowly disappear from their life, and if it what I said was true, they won’t even notice you are gone. And if they do, do not rekindle or go back.
Indirect post and throwing dirt on their name will not get you that title you never receive. He/She is not checking for you post and if they are it’s humor to them because they know it’s about them and they’ll use that for one last rodeo to re-enter your life.
Step 4: Don’t get your time wasted twice
Please, ladies and gentlemen, you remember the unsure feelings, heartbreak, and confusion you felt during the non-reciprocated game called situationship, do not do it, it’ll just happen again.
Step 5: Know the game and don’t play it. Set the bar high.
Never be a reflection of others. People are going to treat you how they wanna treat you and there’s nothing you can do about it but treat yourself and others the way you want to be treated.